This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
