people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
