I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
