new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
