Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
