OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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