Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
