You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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