she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
