you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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