What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
