Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
