we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
