I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
