He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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