hell yes lets make some ravioli
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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