That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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