Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
