Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
