try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
