i jhust puked up my retainher.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
