Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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