perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
