I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
