I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
