Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
