Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
