Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
