i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
