you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
