i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
