Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
