We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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