She said her name was "party"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
