I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
