I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
