hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
