i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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