i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
