You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize