This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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