Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
