I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
