I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
