Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
