It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
