The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
