it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
