oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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