Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
