i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And then my night got REAL pukey
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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