So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
