it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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