What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I love having hate sex.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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